sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
