I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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