I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
