New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
