im drinking this country out of the recession.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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