If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Let's paint friendship bongs
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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