He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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