dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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