He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize