Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
