I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
