fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
