They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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