Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
