I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
