never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
