my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
