I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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