If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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