i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize