Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
it wasn't lemon gatorade
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
