I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
