Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Randomize
