i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
where does the pee come out of this thing
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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