Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
