This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
