yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
