I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
