We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
