yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
