just come out here and I will go home with you...
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
