Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
