well you can't waste a boner
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
