Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize