Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
