Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
