I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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