I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
