he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
