wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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