Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
