my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I am naked and annoyed.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
