Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Randomize
