Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
We have started to decorate penises.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
