Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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