The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
