who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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