I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
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