wat bout pragnant strippers??
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
