Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
she told me i tasted like america
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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