My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
