I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
