my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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