She is in my trunk
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
