I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
