I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
