do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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