i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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