SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
