my vag is so smooth its legendary
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
