Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
