we're blogging at a bar
i was born a porn star she said
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
