you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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