So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
We named our party play list daddy issues
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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