guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
