lets start a swedish sibling band together
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
