I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
