Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
